This was my first Critical Mass in about a year. The Mass was easily the largest one I've been to, and a good size crowd came out full of Halloween regalia. I'm not good with measuring crowds, but I'd say we filled up a little shy of two city blocks as we went through downtown. Costume highlights include Lando's kilt, a strikingly convincing Hunter S. Thompson, a few dinosaurs, a tandem turned into a republican SUV, and Tommy's shammypants.
The ride itself started through downtown, eventually meandering over the Hennepin Bridge, and SE towards dinkytown. We passed by the arena just before a hockey game, causing mass confusion among the drivers. The ride then took the Washington bridge underpass to the West Bank, rolled by the Triple Rock, and went west on Franklin. From there we cruised to Lyndale, got confused, doubled back on Franklin between Nicollet and Lyndale about a half dozen times, and eventually headed south on Nicollet to Lake Street.
From the start of the ride a vast majority of pedestrians and people in cars were very friendly towards the mass...taking pictures on their cellphones, laughing, and lots of thumbs up and high fives to go around. But by the the time we got to Uptown, we encountered a different breed of driver alltogether. People started getting out of their cars and puffing their chests and all getting red in the face about not being able to drive their elderly passengers and embarassed girlfriends home to bed on time. One man in an Acura was particularly concerned about the prospects of our unemployment. Some feelings were hurt, and some rims were bent, and the police told us to get our ride on so we kept on riding. A little after the Wedge, cars started trying to force their way though, and one truck in particular brushed me a little too close. I gave him chase though Loring park, and eventually lost him somewhere downtown. He ran a few red lights to get away from me, so I ended the night feeling somewhat vindicated. After that, the group either disbanded or I lost them completely. So I went home, cooked a pizza, had a Guinness, and fell asleep watching Letterman.
My impressions were that the ride was large, awfully slow, unorganized, and except for a gratuitous "WHOO" now and again, quiet. I had a fun time though. I saw some old friends, some sweet bikes, and some really angry drivers. I hope to see you all again next month.

Man, majorsmoove made it sound so much more exciting than that!

Dude went back to his car for a bat!

Though I think your chasing the guy and making him run reds is pretty fucking funny...

Ok, first I must offer some commentary as to my dissatisfaction at the Mass for failing to remain as a group. What was left of the Mass was heading North on Hennepin Ave S, going toward downtown. At around 26th St the dude in the Acura began yelling at riders to "Get a job." More words were excanged between Acura dude and the Mass riders.

A few blocks North, some riders in front wanted to turn East onto Franklin Ave. Others wanted to continue North into downtown. In the confusion, The Acura made contact with a bicycle and bent the rear rim. By then most of the Mass riders had taken off down Franklin. A group of six or seven cyclists were left to stand up for the rider whose bicycle was hit and disabled.

Acura dude got out of his car and called the constabulary on his cell phone to report the collision. The Acura dude accused the cyclist in question of punching and denting the hood of his ugly Acura. As we were waiting for the cops to come, a nasty traffic jam began to build on Hennepin Ave. The cyclist, the Acura dude and the other riders continued to argue about the collision in the middle of the intersection.

Another motorist, who had been stuck in the ensuing traffic jam, got out of his car to come vent and threaten the bicyclists in the intersection. This new Tough Guy began to get in cyclists' faces and tried to intimidate us with threats of unspecified violence. Both sides were mouthing off. The Tough Guy went back to his car to retrieve an aluminum baseball bat. Tough Guy returned to the intesection and began to beat the shit out of the cyclists' bikes with the bat. He hit at least two (maybe three) bicycles several times. The bicycles that were struck had completely destroyed rims, and possible frame and component damage.

A cyclist with the group grabbed his mace in anticipation of self defense. Just as I was wondering if Tough Guy was going to start beating people with his bat, the squad car responding to Acura dude's call pulled up. Tough Guy saw the cop and began to return to his car. Officer Friendly had seen most of the bike beating from his squad car. The officer promptly arrested Tough Guy for assault and took the bat into custody as evidence.

With tough guy in the back of a cop car, more squads began to show up to deal with Acura dude. One officer commented that they had been recieving calls about Mass all night. The cyclist who allegedly damaged the Acura was put in the back of a squad car. Acura dude was interviewed by Em Pee Dee and allowed to go. It was past eight by then. I was starting to get cold in my costume. Being that I was wearing a pair of obscenely short-shorts and fairy wings, I decided I wasn't going to stick around and give the cops a statement. Homeboy named Morgan and I headed downtown where we split off. I was watching my back all the way through D/T lest I run into Acura dude again.

Damn, I hope the cyclist was released although his bicycle was totally destroyed. I hope Tough Guy got some deep-prostate stimulation in the Hennepin County Hilton.

What a weird night.
Res Ipsa Loquitor.

And people wonder why I don't like doing CM rides. Sounds like a bunch of crap all around...

Sounds like a very eventful mass. I did unfortunately miss it.

e-bomb: I'd rather see the more assholes in this fucked up world than more motorized vehicles. At least the assholes don't inherently destroy our little space ship. I can't fucking wait for gas to hit 7+ dollars / gallon here in the US.

Hey there e-bomb. I'll prolly just disappear after this. *shrug* Noob indeed. Bottom line: go to school, get a degree in physics, specialize in environmental studies (always keeping physics in mind), and then let's have a discussion. Sheesh. Obviously even bicyclists can be idiots.

I'm a bike supporter, living on the intersection of Franklin and Pleasant. I saw a few groups riding by that really bummed me out. From my second-story window, I observed a lot of horns honking and people yelling "fuck you!", not to mention a lot of red tail lights and backed up traffic on Franklin Ave. There were bikers riding the WRONG WAY in traffic, both east and west!

I have to hope that Critical Mass organizers did not intend for this kind of behavior. I really wish I could have seen cars honking in support of Critical Mass... instead of honking because a group of bikers are making it unsafe to commute during Halloween weekend.

Seriously, I saw people riding their bikes in circles between lanes. I ride all the time, but after seeing this, I probably won't ever contribute to Critical Mass.

On a positive note, it's a beautiful Sunday afternoon, perfect for a ride. Say hello to a fellow biker when you're out.

Cheers,

Paul

There are no critical mass organizers. I used to go on critical mass to hang out with other bikers, but Friday it seemed like 30 or so people were out just to cause problems. It was absolutely the worst critical mass I've ever been on. It seems to have been going downhill for the past three months.

I think rather then just leaving Critical Mass, more would be acomplished by educating the people who were riding unsafe. The more smart riders we have, the better it will get.

How do events like Friday's CM help me as a bike commuter?

It really sounds like Critical Mass is doing nothing productive whatsoever, and is in fact engendering even more anger and hatred towards bicyclists.

Can anyone point to any solid, objective evidence that CM has produced a positive effect for bicyclists on our streets?

Holy shit, a Noob being a dick to e-bomb... only
Senior Members are allowed to do that, dickweed!

I think what (oh, shit, I'm about to defend e-bomb)
e-bomb was trying to say is that cars produce 1 lb.
of CO2 per lb. of fuel, but jets are half that -- 0.5 lbs.
per lb. of fuel. So, yes, jets pollute (a little) less than
cars.

[Correction: it's pounds per mile, not pounds per pound]

Also,



I could be wrong here, but I assume the "binding" it
up means binding O2 molecules to Carbon -- i.e., CO2.

Though I could be waaaaay off, this is e-bomb
text I'm analyzing.

Anyway, don't putz out and "prolly just disappear", that
would be idiotic.

And if you people really care about Mass you'd print
out some freakin' "How to Behave at Mass" cards and
hand them out. Or just ignore the idiots and ride at a
good pace with those in front. Shit usually goes down
in the rear, by the ones who like to antagonize.